i jhust puked up my retainher.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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