what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
