We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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