I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
