I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
