Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
