hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
