apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
this boner is exhausting
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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