Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
