Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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