Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
