Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize