Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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