Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize