Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
