he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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