I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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