I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is