can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize