i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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