You're so nebulous sometimes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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