If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
