Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
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Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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