Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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