HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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