i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
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He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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