Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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