You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
