I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
