I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
