I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize