Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
