I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
