Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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