covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
