We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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