just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize