Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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