My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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