I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
