i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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