so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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