Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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