I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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