my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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