Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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