It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
