..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
