he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
