seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
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I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
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You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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