you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Two words: nipple clamps
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