i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
