I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
