it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
