What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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