I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize