Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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