hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
