so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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