im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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